Note, Quotation marks and a * at the end of sentence means bible quote or quote.
My dad and mom were good hard working God fearing Catholics, who felt it was their call in life to create a large family in at atmosphere of security. So it is not hard to look back on my life and thank God for wonderful parents who had ideals of honor and integrity, which rose early in the mornings and many times working late into the night to supply all the needs for their eight children.
We were not the perfect family in any form, but the environment was constant and flowed with unconditional love, acceptance and good discipline.
We lived several miles from the nearest town, so trips were designated to shopping, hockey, curling in the winter and baseball, rodeos and picnics in the summer. Some of our greatest moments as a family was Saturday night watching Hockey Night in Canada, or all around the dinning room listening to dad pipe out the song, on the wings of a snow white dove, his voice always soothed the our souls. Mom on the other hand would bring out the clapping and fun, glowing with assurance and brought laughter late into the night.
Now life was not all roses and although as children we were protected from the battles of life, we went through many struggles. Farm life was not easy and I know there were many times my parents were burdened, but somehow hope would rise up in the midst of the darkest times and a special strength would bring us through another day.
Now there were those in our community who did not always have the refuge of parents and a solid home. One individual close to our family committed suicide, the stress of life simple got to him, and as a young person it troubled me that a person could take their own life, I mean how bad had it been, somehow it just could not register it in my mind!
As I grew into an adult I began to experience life's battles. It was all great in the secure confines of my family, but in the real world the hard knocks were realty on all my emotions and beliefs.
I did not have the opportunity to stay on the farm, so I decided to pursue a career in business and was I in for a rude awaking, to think that people had no honor or integrity was a lesson in learning for this farm boy from the prairies.
At a young age I felt a call to be a minister and years later due to a miracle I decided to follow that call and was I ever in for a bigger awakening. I mean it was a battleground in business but the ministry well I could write another book on that subject.
The book you are about to read was written in the midst of one of the greatest battles of my ministry and amazingly I found a way to be healed by expressing it through the words of this book. So I pray that this book will help in your battle for life.
Also understand that Jesus will never leave you or forsake you and he has the answer for every problem; I hope that this book will give Him the opportunity to reveal Himself.
Condemnation; the Battle
The bible says, "Oh unhappy, pitiful and wretched man that I am! Who will release and deliver me from the shackles of this body of death?"*
Sadly, many people in the hustle and bustle of life at times feel this very pain, struggling with trials, hopelessness, burdened down with problems and anxieties.
They may even have knowledge and understanding of many Scriptures, but the reality and experience of them seems so unreal, so distant and far.
Soon under the pressures of life they begin to question or doubt themselves, the result is guilt and self-condemnation which in turn produces an attitude of low self-worth. The final result is despair, depression and openness to the spirit of heaviness.
Today in this world it is not hard to see hopelessness all around us. We are witnessing terrorism, war, disasters and famine, to bring it closer to home; our economic picture is one of duress creating an environment that seems to have no answers, no way out, no future.
Understand the world problems are real and in the battlefield trenches of life even the sons of God can have a hard time coping with the shackles of flesh and In turn bring stress into their faith which then brings self-delusion and the self-condemnation.
Now the enemy of our soul is not really so much what we see, but how we allow ourselves to feel when the battle rages around us, when things don't work the way we think or imagine they should.
How do we deal with emotions that seem to point its finger at us?
How do we secure our mind when we feel condemned or rejected because of mistakes we seemingly have made?
Do we allow blame to overtake us or self-condemnation to pour out its guilt?
Have we really experienced the pain it causes the human heart?
Now the answer maybe simple, but have we really been there? Self-condemnation means having pronounced ourselves guilty, a feeling of utter disapproval, in turn sentencing or pronouncing ourselves as unfit, which in turn gives us a mentality of an unpleasant future or fate?
When guilt and self-condemnation wars against our mind, it is like a barrage of rapid enemy fire whose only purpose is to take us out and leave us lying wounded in the battlefield of life. Because of these attacks, we are confronted with wounded individuals saying, "What's the use, I might as well quit, I can't do it anymore, I'm finished, how stupid can I be, I might as well die!"
As we read this, you may think to yourself, “This sounds like an immature person who needs some time in counseling or who needs to get a life."
Yet, even the most seasoned veterans of God's army in the midst of life's battles can feel they have come to their end. Because of the constant barrage of circumstances and battle wounds, they too can get fatigued, worn down to a place of submitting to self-condemnation and its curse.
Now understand God never promised us that the arena of life would be easy, or ever say there would never be any trials or tribulations. But one thing He did say was, "Be of good cheer; for I have overcome the world."* But what do we do when we are not overcoming the battle?
How do we get back on the road, when there seems to be no good ahead?
What do we do when we seemingly tried everything, yet failed?
How do we get hope when there seems to be none to find?
I am convinced we have all been there sometime in the journey of life and life at times is like being stuck in a battlefield; we have advanced with everything we know how to do, yet for some unknown reason we feel pinned down, heavy burdened and lost. We do not dare stick out our head because we feel so weak and don't want to sustain another shot in the head.
Now, none of us are immune to times of self-accusation or condemnation, but remember as a believer the Spirit of God lives and dwells within. Not only that, but through truth He will make us aware of a need to change our thinking to help us advance in the battlefields of life and some how in the midst of the battle we must be assured God does not condemn us. He is not the one taking shots at us when we are down.
The bible says, "For God did not send the Son into the world in order to judge, to reject to condemn, to pass sentence on the world, but that the world might find salvation and be made safe and sound through Him."*
So to start us on the road to recovery we must first believe that Jesus did not come to judge us, but to be judged, to suffer our punishment, rejection and condemnation. He gave His life so all need never live a life of guilt or self-condemnation.
Condemnation or Conviction
The bible says, "And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever, "even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you."*
The difference between conviction and condemnation in the mind of people may be hard to separate, but the by product of the two is as far apart as the east is from the west.
Conviction means being convinced, a firm belief, being persuasive or able to persuade and become aware.
Conviction is the revealing of Light in the soul of man. I liken it to walking into a dark room filled with furniture. Naturally to walk in the dark room would only lead to falling over obstacles which would create a dangerous situation. But if we just turn the light on, instantly the room would be revealed causing us to walk freely around any obstacles.
The mind or soul is like a room we walk into. Actually there are many rooms in our mind where we store our life and many rooms have been darkened and locked and so in turn need reliable conviction or light to unlock or reveal the enemies of those rooms. As the Word of God is allowed to come into our soul, the light will come on in the room that reveals the obstacles that affect our walk.
Godly conviction takes us out of darkness and guides us into the light, it always leads to victory, shows us how to get around or through the enemy and will always show the good, acceptable and perfect will of God in the battlefield ahead.
Now this is important I'm not referring to convict, this is where most people get stuck. Convict means to prove or find one guilty, this was done by the Holy Spirit to lead us to God but He never convicts us again once we become aware of God. The Word of God is the light or conviction, which is the ability to persuade us to walk out of our darkness and bring healing to our soul or the rooms that need to be unlocked.
The bible says, "Do not be conformed to this world this age, fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs, but be transformed (changed) by the entire renewal of your mind by its new ideals and its new attitude, so that you may prove for yourselves what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you."*
Simply we need new attitudes on what we are battling. We can no longer be thinking in the old attitudes, but must change our mind to better ideals of the Spirit so we can better cope with the battles to come.
True conviction will help us to reveal the changes that need to be made, and cause us to become righteous conscious, which affects our heart without condemnation.
Paul said in the bible, "For even though I did grieve you with my letter, I do not regret it now, though I did regret it; for I see that the letter did pain you, though only for a little while; Yet I am glad now, not because you were pained, but because you were pained into repentance [that turned you to God]; for you felt a grief such as God meant you to feel, so that in nothing you might suffer loss through us or harm for what we did. For godly grief and the pain God is permitted to direct, produce a repentance that leads and contributes to salvation and deliverance from evil, and it never brings regret; but worldly grief is deadly."*
Paul is saying that the grief of the world doesn't produce anything constructive, but only condemnation which produces death. However Godly grief, which means Godly conviction or light, causes deliverance and a change of mind, but never regret. It simply will not produce self-condemnation, but freedom from condemnation.
On the other side of the coin condemnation is a weapon of darkness, a work of the flesh and the Law, and like a marksman with poisoned tipped arrows the adversary is forever thrusting at the target of our heart. Why? To make us quit, to convict of guilt, to convince us to give up, to knock us down and out of the race of life.
Condemnation is the land mines the enemy hides and sets along the pathway of life. They are placed in strategic places to blow up and divert us from God's will, purpose and plan. They come in a variety of sizes and there intensity and destructive force varies in each circumstance or situation of life. It may be temptation, accusation, rejection, a broken relationship, self-pity, and worse back under the Law, the list is never ending and its destruction can be lasting. If we are not aware of its explosive destructive power, we soon become its victim handicapped on the road of life.
The product of these land mines (which is the law of works) are a people who are disappointed, crippled, wounded with failure by self accusation and low self-worth. If this type of belief is allowed to run its course, it will only produce a curse instead of life.
Understand that the curse is the work of the law and the law nullifies the grace of God in your life and puts you under legalism, and the law only produces a curse and condemnation.
The work of the Law only drives us to performance. In other words, we perform so we can be accepted. Self condemnation is a work of the law, which says you are not good enough, not accepted, have not done enough and not blessed because of your circumstance. Sadly, many feel they must appease God or others to earn His acceptance and favor.
When self-condemnation comes, it points a finger at us as being the problem. Because of our expectations or mind set we allow our feelings of overwhelming grief to dictate guilt to our mind, which produces condemnation that drives us to a works mentality or sin consciousness.
Yet, through grace we are accepted unconditionally, just as we are! We understand we are free in grace, which in turn makes us want to do good things, not because of condemnation, but because we are accepted.
In other words, in God we are already blessed and in this we will want to do well. But for some reason many think that before God, if they are good enough, He will bless them, but this is not grace at all but the law.
The law of condemnation will only produce death, not life and its motivation comes from fear, fear that I am not good enough. The by product is rejection and this rejection, through condemnation, always points at us the problem and this only produces self condemnation!
Many of God's children have been forced under this dark hand of the taskmaster, forced into the labor camps of false hopes, made to sip the bitter cup and its poisonous wrath.
Because of this, self condemnation is continually maneuvering to accomplish its ends, continually laying on the shoulder of believers the responsibility of something they could not change, something they did not commit or something they were not sinful of.
To take it further this darkness will use whatever or whomever to accomplish their task of accusation. It may be a friend, a relative, a circumstance not even in their control, and yes sadly another believer or worse a minister who has been captured by its lies. Understand, this adversary will use whatever is available to set the explosive land mines and oh how life destructive they can be!
Soon we hear more whimpering cries from the depths of the trenches, "I didn't realize! If only I had been there! If only I had done something different! Maybe I didn't think it through! If only I knew! If only I wouldn't have forgotten!" This opens the door for surrender and to become captured and forced to be witness, judge and jury. Slowly, the dark prosecutor of the law of self condemnation has convinced the prisoner mind of their guilt, which only motivates to more self-accusation, depression and oppression.
They seem stuck in a ruthless prison with a bayonet forced to their head, and with no more will live or fight; they are forced to sentence themselves to their circumstance.
Condemnation; judge and jury
As judge and jury, this type of thinking can only bring destruction and sentence us to a victim's mentality. Further more, for us to fall into this deceptive trap of judge and jury is against the whole system of the law of our land. It is not ethical or moral! Never has anyone been allowed to be his or her own judge and jury, it is a conflict of interest, yet this is exactly the position the adversary wants us to be in, as judge and jury through self-condemnation.
Read carefully! Ethically, no one can be judge to decide the verdict in his or her own case. It goes against all earthly law and codes. Simply no one in a court of law can sentence or condemn themselves, its impossible! So why on earth do we allow our mind to trick us to perform self condemnation? Yet that's what we are doing and It’s illegal because it is over riding the Word of God which says, "there is therefore now no condemnation, or adjudging guilt or wrong for those who are in Christ Jesus,"
Paul said, "But as for me personally it matters very little to me that I should be put on trial by you [on this point], and that you or any human tribunal should investigate and question and cross-question me. I do not even put myself on trial or judge myself."*
Paul knew better then to put himself on trial or judge himself by human standards of spiritual judgment because he understood the work of reconciliation, yet this is what we are doing by falling into condemnation and simply the deceiver is deceiving us!
The adversary of our mind whole purpose is to tempt, then convince us to judge ourselves then live out the sentence. Why? So we will doubt the victory that God has accomplished for us through His Son and the work of grace. Self condemnation is a charge against us beyond the confines of God.
Again the bible says, "Who shall bring any charge against God's elect when it is God who justifies, that is, who puts us in right relation to Himself. Who shall come forward and accuse or impeach those whom God has chosen? Will God, who acquits us? Who is there to condemn us? Will Christ the Messiah, Who died, or rather who was raised from the dead, who is at the right hand of God actually pleading as He intercedes for us?"*
If God Himself has received us and His Son is forever interceding for us, this makes our self-delusion of guilt contrary to His Word. God here is challenging anyone or anything to come forward and accuse or impeach us. Now, the Messiah Himself who died for us will not do it! So how dare we let the darkness of our mind do it, to allow the deception of self-inflicted condemnation to be greater than God's Word, is to bring us back under the Law and its curse?
Friend, remember this fact; the adversary is not before God day and night accusing us. Through and because of the blood of the Son, he has no access to God, (Hebrews chapter 9). In this he has no right to sling accusations, guilt or condemnation. The only time he can try to accuse us is by coming at us through our flesh and he never comes in the obvious but as a deceiver, liar or manipulator but the fact remains by the cross he has no legal jurisdiction, has no right to you and to think otherwise, would be presumptuous.
To allow us to be judged by our emotions and the feeling of self condemnation, instead of the Word of God, is a complete act of assumption. If we do this, then everything that is deception or that comes from darkness would be considered fact. Read this carefully we should never base anything on assumptions, if this is our verdict no wonder we are emotionally strained.
For this very reason mental institutions of our land are filled with people who have no self worth or value of oneself. They see themselves through the eyes of guilt and self-condemnation, their adversary has convinced them they are guilty and in turn judge and sentence themselves to a life of misery.
As sons of God, it is truly a crime to fall into the hideous deceptive trap of self condemnation. For us to accept an assumption, as something that is true will only bring ruin. History has proven this fact, nations have been overthrown and millionaires made into paupers, to assume or to presume is a dangerous deceptive sin.
To assume something from the adversary of your mind as true, meaning accepting self-condemnation is like us deciding to go before the firing squad. No one has that right to assume this any more than they have to assume facts and condemn another; this can not be justified and will only bring ruin.
Dear friend, if you have been duped into this trickery, then let me tell you the symptoms of your horrible trap. Your walk with God has been without joy. To allow a smile to come from your face has probably become an effort. Your motivation to get up and go is simply not there. You feel frustrated, angry at your self and the world and your favorite word is, why me? You like an atmosphere where there is no pressure to change or be changed. Your creativity is gone and to get into spiritual things is impossible, to pray or to serve Him in any capacity is a battle in its self. In fact you seem to be running away from everything. If you are in this state of being, you are simply in the clutches of a curse!
How sad and destructive is the power of self condemnation, the breeding ground of an attitude that comes from passing judgment. Because of this we will be sentenced to an unproductive staled life. By allowing the accuser to convince us to condemn ourselves; we are not allowing God to be our deliver, not allowing Him to be greater than our circumstances or emotions, not allowing Him to reveal and provide the solution to our problem.
Now if you are in this predicament this does this mean God will change towards you, He will not leave you or stop extending His love to you, God forbid this thinking, that is not the way God and the work of His love.
The bible says, "For I am persuaded beyond doubt, am sure, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things impending and threaten, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God.”*
God's love is personal. It reaches across all our traditions, it sees no color or borders. It has no interest in philosophies. He is in the business of saving humanity no matter their condition. This is love, this is God.
To fall into self-condemnation is a powerful weapon of bad thinking, if we submit; it will make the word of no effect and open the door to more accusation and feelings of guilt and low self-worth
The adversary’s whole purpose for condemning us is to get us to reject God's work of reconciliation. To question our beliefs and to contend with our faith! He desires to steal our peace of mind and to stop us from testifying of the goodness of God, I mean how anyone can have a testimony if he falsely testifies against himself!
Remember it's the goodness of God that causes repentance and the adversary is in the business of trying to make God look bad. If we are not convinced in ourselves of God's goodness and unconditional love, then there is good reason and ground for deception.
Now let me say this confidently and boldly; the false attitude is afraid of you, it knows who you are in God, it knows what been accomplished on the cross for all humanity, but if it can convince you that you are not worthy, then it is on the road to keeping you from damaging it and it defeat.
Read carefully! The adversary knows that we posses power, it knows we are sons of the living God with all the rights and privileges, if he can keep us screened to this truth or keep us from believing who we are in God, we are one less obstacle for it!
As sons of God must come to the point that we are convinced and secure in the work of redemption. We need to believe God's Word about us, and that He is our provider, healer, and deliverer. We must be convinced He is our peace, our joy and that He will never leave or forsake us, we must be convinced that there is no condemnation.
The bible says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."*
We must come to a place of total dependency on Him, a surrendering of our heart and will. We must realize that flesh has nothing to offer and that God is absolute knowledge and wisdom. "Therefore, since we are justified, acquitted, declared righteous, and given a right standing with God through faith, let us grasp the face that we have the peace of reconciliation to hold and to enjoy, peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ the Messiah, the Anointed One. Through Him also we have our access, entrance, introduction by faith into this grace or state of God's favor in which we firmly and safely stand. And let us rejoice and exult in our hope then of experiencing and enjoying the glory of God."*
We must come to the place where we know by God’s acceptance of us that we have been acquitted, declared innocent and given right standing with God. That we stand safely before Him without guilt or inferiority in His grace, which is His favor. We must be convinced of God's claim that we are one with Him and no darkness has any right to us.
Friend, if we completely surrender to this knowledge, the power of self condemnation will not have its way or control us like a minefield. It will be defused and become powerless, enabling us to walk without fear in the path of life. As this is accomplished, the child of God will then become confident and all the emotional instability will then change to peace, all the solutions to our problems will now be found in Him and Him alone.
Condemnation to Confidence
My friend, God has redeemed us, set us on a higher plain and in His legal office He has pardoned us through the finished work of the cross. Through His Son we are forgiven, so to fall into self condemnation is to turn our face on forgiveness. Until we can accept God's forgiveness, past, present and future, we will not forgive ourselves. In turn we will not forgive others. This is a breeding ground for an offensive heart and we must remember God is greater than our heart so how much more we should forgive ourselves.
"And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him, for if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God."*
As a believer we are accepted in the Beloved, this means we have been accepted as part of God's household with all its privileges and rights. To bring it further in this acceptance we never have to feel rejected because God will never reject us, not even a little!
Remember that God's attitude towards us never changes; it is always the same, constant, never moved by our feelings. He is always faithful, even when we are not. Rejection towards His us is never a thought in God mind because He swore by His Word and the work of His Son on the cross.
On the cross, the Son took our condemnation, our deserved rejection and suffered our separation from God. In the same way that we have rights to promises, we have the right not to be rejected, not matter how bad the situation or how bad we have sinned.
There may be times we may feel alienated from God because of self condemnation, but this is from us not from God. He settled the rejection problem and said, "I'll never leave you or forsake you."* This means no matter what we have done, He will be there and the door is wide open of His acceptance and love. Self condemnation will only put us back into bondage, steal our confidence and weaken our freedom, so refuse its ugly claw.
Through the work of reconciliation, God has given us a new freedom, not freedom to live and do as one pleases in the flesh but freedom to choose what is in line with God, a freedom to become all that God wants us to become and fulfill our potential to His honor.
To fall into self condemnation is to steel a blessing that we are so privileged to have and that is confidence! Confidence is trust, boldness, and an assurance that leads one to endure or undertake anything that comes their way.
Confidence is a fruit of faith, a product of being totally dependent on God, a boldness to testify of His goodness and courage to proclaim freely the message of peace.
The greatest enemy of confidence is self condemnation through self accusation. Where there is condemnation constantly peering its ugly head, there is a struggle with confidence, with trust and boldness.
When our confidence is built in God, the system of the world will not be able to move us. The only way we would be moved is if we ourselves allow it.
We simply, have to keep the Spirit of God as our center point, our plum line. As we do this, we will keep our confidence no matter what the storms of life may bring.
But if we allow our confidence to be taken down, we will be open to the attack of darkness and with our defenses down, confidence toward our heavenly Father will not be able to grow properly or stabilize.
Confidence in God and our position with him will always overrule self condemnation. There isn't a person who does not want confidence to rule and a key to having more confidence is not allowing the law to put on self condemnation through self accusation.
The adversary must not be allowed to falsely condemn our heart, if he is allowed he will slowly strip our confidence. Yet, if confidence is allowed to take its place, there will always be life and when this happens, it is a healing of the heart.
Instead of self accusation and self condemnation there is now a new light. No longer are we centered on ourselves, our problems, but our view has shifted in the direction of God, which in turn gently directs us to others and their needs.
If our confidence is stolen by the false accuser, we will not be able to fulfill our life’s calling; we will be stuck in a rut, which is a grave with no ends. But confidence will bring light to the end of the tunnel and confidence towards God, for in it there is no condemnation!
Dear friend, God has set you free from guilt; self condemnation has no place in your life. He has set you free from the judgment of self accusation, so there is no need to be on the sidelines, wounded and battle fatigued. God is our fortress, strength, and power and has raised us far above the works of darkness.
You may feel worthless, but to God you are worthy.
You may feel guilt from your past, but God said He paid for your guilt, past and present.
You may not feel accepted, but you have been accepted. God's acceptance does not move with our behavior, His Son has already settled it. Simply man may reject us but God will not or ever in all eternity reject us!
What an awesome God!
There is only one place for healing self condemnation and that is in the knowledge of the unconditional love of God.
Always remember that God is greater than our heart especially when it condemns us and remember there is no condemnation, no adjudging guilt, no accusation, and no rejection from God to those who are in Him. So you do not need to live in the lies any more. You are free! So hold your head up high and walk in victory over condemnation!
Copyright Roxy Nolin 1997